Do you make New Year’s resolutions? According to a YouGov Survey 69% of people making new year’s resolutions last year didn’t manage to stick to them. Let’s look why that might be and at some strategies be on the other side of that statistic.
Often people know what to eat or what they shouldn’t be eating, but they still don’t stick with it. 50% of my job is working with clients to find individual diet and lifestyle changes that improve their symptoms, but the other 50% is all about behaviour change and accountability. This form of health coaching is what helps the changes to stick.
Let’s delve into my 10 top tips for making your new year’s resolutions stick.
- Reflect on the year before:
Before thinking about what you want to change, take some time to celebrate what went well the previous year. We often miss this step but when you start looking I bet you’ll find more positive things than you thought.
- Make your resolutions SMART:
Resolutions often fail because they are too vague so there is no way of knowing if you have achieved it. When making your new year’s resolutions, start by making them SMART:
Specific – the more specific the better. Rather than a massive proclamation of fixing everything that is wrong in your life, getting very specific here and consistently sticking to one thing is much more likely to get you the results you are looking for.
Measurable – are you looking to lose weight? How much is reasonable? Do you want to go to the gym? How often and when? Is it in your diary?
Achievable – starting small and building on it is always better than starting big and abandoning it. If you point straight ahead and then move your hand just a tiny fraction to one side, you’ll end up in a completely different place. James Clear, author of atomic habits says, small changes made consistently will add up over time and lead to longer term success.
Realistic – we often think we can achieve more than we actually can. Start with less than you think you can achieve to give you a motivation boost to continue.
Timebound – setting smaller more frequent goals that you can check in with will be easier to keep it going than saying you’ll do something by the end of the year.
- Consider your vision vs your goal:
To take this a step further, rather than just looking at goals, it’s important to also consider your vision. Ask yourself why do you want to achieve that goal? And why is that important to you? Keep asking why until you get to the very root of your values and this is where your motivation will lie.
To give you an example, say your new year’s resolution is to meditate for 10 mins every day. It’s specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound. But by day 9 you miss a day. This is where things can drop off, but if you keep your vision in mind you are much more likely to start again.
Why do you want to meditate for 10 mins a day? To reduce my stress.
Why do you want to reduce your stress? To feel better and be a better mum.
Why do you want to feel better and be a better mum? So my children have a happy childhood and I can enjoy it with them.
Keep digging. This vision will be your motivation.
It’s useful to keep your vision visible eg a statement on your kitchen wall, a vision board by the kettle, a beautiful picture on the back of the bathroom door.
- Know your tendency
How do you feel about new year’s resolutions? Did you know that this simple questions can provide so much insight as to how you respond to inner and outer expectations i.e. how you can make changes? Knowing this can be so transformative in being able to achieve your goals.
Which category do you fall into here?
- I’m good at keeping new year’s resolutions, even ones that no one else knows about but me (upholder)
- I’ll keep a new years resolution if it’s useful but I won’t start on New Year’s Day because January 1st is an arbitrary day. (questionner)
- I never make resolutions anymore because I never manage to keep them – I never make time for myself. (obliger)
- I never make resolutions because I don’t like to bind myself. (rebel)
According to Gretchen Reuben’s book; the Four Tendencies, there are four categories of people.
Obliger: responds readily to outer expectations but struggle to meet inner expectations.
Upholder: respond readily to both outer and inner expectations
Questionner: question all expectations, they meet an expectation only if they believe it’s justified, so in effect they respond only to inner expectations.
Rebel : resist all expectations, outer and inner alike.
Knowing this makes such a difference.
If you are an upholder, you most likely have no problem creating resolutions and sticking to them.
If you are are an obliger then you are likely to need someone else to keep you accountable – agree with a friend and set a time to go for a run or engage a professional to help you on your journey.
If you are a questionner you need to have done all the research as to why making that change is worthwhile for you and find a way of reminding yourself of that.
If you are a rebel you need to find a way of the new habit becoming part of your identify instead of something you are expected to do.
I found finding out about Gretchen Reuben’s Four Tendencies life changing for understanding myself and others around me, and it also enables me to better support my clients. There is no one-size-fits-all approach in health and this is another way I have found to personalise what I offer.
If you’d like to know more about it I’d highly recommend doing the Four tendencies quiz. A very good friend of mine is also a wonderful productivity coach and specialises in using the four tendencies.
- Start small
Rather than resolving to create a whole new you, build on the positives from the previous year and make the new habits really tiny. According to BJ Fogg, author of Tiny Habits, you are so much more likely to create new habits if you start with something tiny and build on it. Eg if the goal is to go to the gym 3 times a week, start with putting on your gym gear each day, then once that is a habit drive to the gym with no need to actually do anything. You are likely to over-achieve here rather than expect to much and not manage it and then give up.
- Commitment builds motivation.
On a scale of 1-10 how committed are you to make this change and how motivated are you to make this change? As long as you are committed, starting small builds motivation from being able to achieve it, this creates motivation rather than the other way around.
- Habit stacking
When you are changing your habits, it’s useful to attach it to a habit you already have. There are some things we do every day without fail such as brushing our teeth or washing our hands. Adding the habit on to one of these makes it much easier to achieve. For example, drink a glass of water each time you boil the kettle or gargle after cleaning your teeth.
- Stay accountable
Whether you are an obliger or not, it is useful to keep yourself accountable. For some a habit tracker placed somewhere you will easily see it might be enough. I have created a free one just for you here. Or you may need more than that. Telling other people about your resolutions or habit changes greatly increases the change of continuing with them. Finding a buddy make the same change is also very motivating. Set a reminder in your diary to check in with yourself and see how you are getting on with it. Especially if you are in peri-menopause and memory may be an issue, then this is a great reminder to get back on track.
- Have an oops plan
What you do the day ofter you miss a day of keeping your resolution is the biggest predictor of success. One of the best ways to keep your resolutions going is to make a plan in advance of what you will do when you fall off the wagon. For most this is inevitable and is usually the point at which people give up. However, if you plan for this in advance and decide how you will resume your progress then you are much more likely to continue and see success. Sharon Salzberg said “just start over”. We can begin again without getting caught up in self judgement. The next moment is a brand new moment. Don’t let falling off the wagon stop you from continuing to strive for positive change.
- Reframing resolutions as intentions
Setting a resolution often seems like a big thing to accomplish and when we indulge in the cake we had vowed not to eat, it feels like we have failed and we give up on our resolution. Reframing them as intentions is a much more positive way of looking at it and less overwhelming if we miss a day. Tamara Levitt put this beautifully “with intentions, our focus is not on what we need to fix but rather what we want to create”.
I hope you have found this useful. I’d love to know what your new year’s resolutions are.
PS If health is your goal and you’d like some direction or accountability then I have just the thing for you. I have a low cost Diet & Lifestyle MOT which covers some simple changes to start you on the right track to health. If you have a more chronic health condition then I offer 3 or 6 month packages to really delve into the root cause and move your forward towards your goal with long term changes.
